The Trust Issue

Few days ago my wife and I were watching a movie. The movie was so touching and I think she probably got emotional while watching and she paused it (something she does all the time when something just bumps into her head along the way, so I always end up struggling to understand the film again after we resume) and started recalling events that has happened between us and that somehow related to the current film we were watching (not the very good ones) after talking for how long I couldn’t calculate she now asked me...Do you trust me?

A long pause

She was surprised that I wasn’t so swift in answering her question, as I would normally have done if she had asked do you love me? The longer I stayed silent the more ruffled she became and finally asked me; have I ever given you a reason to not to trust me? I was quick to say a big NO. Then she asked; 

‘’So then answer the question; do you trust me?’’... (Silence)…Bode!!!

See now, it is so sweet to want to tell your partner how much you trust them, how much you believe them not to do wrong things that can jeopardize your relationship. Even relationship experts, counselors and motivational speakers tell you to trust your partner and tell them how much you trust them. Even think about it isn’t life so miserable if you don’t have someone you could really put your trust in. hmmm…really?? 

I have come to a stage where I don’t hold credible any statement that is not of the Holy Spirit but of human wisdom no matter how highly reputable the person saying it may be.

Jesus Christ said, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself”, he didn’t say trust your neighbor as you trust as you trust yourself because he knew you couldn’t trust yourself in the first place let alone you neighbor. Nowhere in the scriptures have we been urged to trust in anything or person but God no matter how sweet trusting someone might sound.

I love this definition of Trust, 

            The state of being responsible for someone of something (Mac Dictionary)

Now when you put your trust in someone or something you give them the responsibility of making you happy always, not disappointing you, satisfying your every whim, provided for, cared for, protected, watched over, not backing out on you, not to condemn you in spite of you, to accommodate your failings without reminding you and so on…

Really can you give a human all that responsibility and believe they can fulfill all of that? Isn’t it burdensome and of too high an expectation and a very selfishly demanding tall order that someone should be all that for you?

Most time we have seen how we have failed our own self; we have seen how the government has failed us, how long standing institutions have folded up in a very short notice and so on. Most of us have learnt quickly not to trust the government, so why do we want to put the burden of our trust on a delicate one person human?

Take this advice seriously it will save you from depression;

Anything that is under the influence of change is not worthy to be trusted.

This doesn’t mean you should live life suspicious and paranoid of everything and everyone but live life with wisdom.

Only God is above change because He can’t change but can change change itself. He can’t be better than He is and can’t be less either. He is just the true I AM

Marriages today crumble, relationships no longer last, great businesses fold up simply because they have put their trust in man…Let see what the Bible says about this;

‘’ Thus saith the Lord; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm...’’

Jeremiah 17:5 (KJV)

Lets not be polite. When you start to trust in any man irrespective of whom they are before God…YOU ARE CURSED! Meaning it will not work out, your trust in them will simply be your shame.

Here says another scripture;

Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom (your wife or husband as the case maybe) For the son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother, the daughter in law against her mother in law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house. Therefore I will look unto the Lord;…

Micah 7:5-7 (KJV)

When you put your trust in anything or person you only make it a center target, a spot where the devil and his cohorts will shoot at anytime they need to torment or tempt you. Job was afflicted in all he trusted.

The devil is not very interested in anything that you don’t value because it won’t mean anything to you if you didn’t hope on it in the first place. You quickly invite the devil into anything that you trust that is not God.

Readers don’t put your happiness in the spotlight.

Jesus said;

Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also

Luke 12:33-34 (KJV)

Don’t misinterpret this verse, Jesus didn’t mean sell all ye have and stay homeless without a possession or property to your name. It is not an excuse to be lazy because Christ also said ‘’...Occupy till I come’’ in Luke 19:13 saying be productive, do businesses, prosper till I come.

He meant, put you trust in the things above, to sell means to exchange; Jesus is urging us to exchange those things which we need, our marriage, our health, our finance etc insure it in him, sell them all to Christ where it would not fail and the thief (the devil) cannot approach it, nor the moth (devourer) corrupteth…don’t you feel like shouting Hallelujah!

This is an invitation for an heavenly insurance to cover all your treasures, because if you keep all your treasures, all your trust in Heaven, in Jesus caring hands and you trust him to look after it, your heart and your trust will be in him because your treasure is in him (or your treasures are with him) and the good news is that, it will not fail!

Imagine if you purchased a new car and you took a comprehensive insurance over that car. You do not need to trust the car or all the in-built security functions that the car possesses so you need not be scared to ensure and keep ensuring. You trust in the insurance company to cover whatever damages or theft that may occur or any fault that may result from circumstances beyond your control and you do not put your trust in whatever strength or anti-theft or anti-fire system in built in the car because it can fail. Now your heart is more in the insurance and not the car.

So we need to understand this that God wants us to trust in him more than we do trust in anything or person, now if we put our trust in God’s insurance then we can go to rest that our spouse will not fail us, neither will anything happen to our possessions that is not in God’s control. So if at anytime you face a crack in your relationship as long as you have initially put the responsibility of trust on God and not your spouse, friend or partner you will not be so hurt that you cannot forgive (and move on if need be) and with that openness of mind and willingness to forgive over and over you can live with whatever shortcoming they may have, and in the outcome your love despite their failings will change them and make you a true example of whom our father in Heaven is  ‘’…that despite when we were yet sinners he loved us and died for us’’. This is the cure for many divorces, separation, heartbreaks, emotional sicknesses, breakdown, heart attacks and so on. Many of us are suffering from deep emotional hurt from someone we had trusted and failed us woefully, some are suffering heart attack because a business or scheme they had depended on had failed them. Or a husband or wife who has pledged for better for worse when it was sweet but has now remixed their vows when the going got rocky, or a friend who bailed out on you on a very crucial moment you trusted them to be there for you. The world would tell you to trust nobody because of wrong reasons and they go about it the wrong way but if you trust nobody, where then do you put the trust?  In yourself?  Then, you’ve got it very double wrong.

If you ask if I could trust you, I wont say I don’t trust you that’s unfair but I would rather say ‘I trust God that he will make you do right’. With this statement I hold God responsible for whatever comes out of our relationship!

Keep that Trust in God alone!

After I took my wife through this revelation of what the Holy Spirit had taught me about trust she was so inspired, reoriented her confession and started telling her friends!

Tell someone today!

Further reading: Isaiah 31:1-3

Bode Muse